What is a Real Man?

by Raymund Tamayo

The book Missing from Action: Vanishing Manhood in America by Weldon Hardenbrook talks about four false images of men or fathers:

1. Macho Maniac – This guy denies his feelings and ignores the law. He never worries or apologizes. He just sweats. He accomplishes the seemingly impossible every few minutes and just bullies people.

2. Great Pretender – He builds up self-esteem by belittling everybody else, particularly his wife and family. He imagines that he rules his family but in reality everybody’s ridiculing him behind his back. He’s frightened of the world and hides it by being critical and talking tough.

3. World Class Whimp – He’s so incompetent that he is constantly outwitted by his children, wife, and the family dog. Nobody takes him seriously.

4. Gender Blenders – He doesn’t even pretend to be masculine, you know what I mean.

But whom can we actually call a “real man”?

Let us look at this excerpt from an article by Pastor Rick Warren titled “God’s Model for Manhood”.

Being a male is a matter of birth but being a man is a matter of choice. A man’s greatness is not determined by the value of his wealth but by the wealth of his values.

According to the Bible, here are five values God looks for in the life of a real man:

1. Compassion – God is looking for men who put relationships before results. Too often men are just concerned about themselves that they don’t care about other people and even forget their own families. God is looking for men of love and compassion.

2. Consistency – God is looking for men who put character before conformity. They’re not afraid to be different and stand alone. These are men of conviction who cannot be bought at any price. Half committed is no commitment at all. Inconsistent men produce insecure children. The bottom line of manhood is integrity.

3. Cooperation – God is looking for men who put cooperation before competition. An article I read recently says only 10% of men have real friends. They don’t know how to relate to other men and are afraid to let anybody get close to them. God is looking for men who puts his trust in Him and is not insecure of his own masculinity. 

4. Commitment – God is looking for men who put the cause of Christ before comfort. According to a recent study, the number one complaint of wives is passive husbands. They are aggressive at work, taking the lead, but at home they are laid back. They hand over leadership and responsibility to the wife or kids or anyone else who would take it. They are even passive in their spiritual life. A real man is a man of action: what you believe, let us see it. A man of commitment takes care of his family in all dimensions; physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually.

5. Courage – God is looking for men who will put service before security. Today’s value system tells us to do everything we can to provide security for ourselves. The whole goal in life is to become secure and financially independent. God is looking for men with courage, who are willing to take the risk in service to Him.

I pray for God’s guidance in developing these values in my life all for His glory.

And I also pray for you, father or father-to-be, who reads this, that you may also be guided and enlightened.