How to Keep Your Social Life Healthy

by Raymund Tamayo

Deep, intimate relationships are not built overnight. 

It takes a lot of investment of time, money, and effort to form a really close bond or connection with anyone.

Sometimes because we are living with other people under one roof, we thought it was enough to grow a relationship.

The truth is, it isn't. You have to be willing to work to make it work!

Love and Belonging

Social health is closely related to emotional health because when you are emotionally healthy or strong, you can relate better with others. 

And these relationships are not only limited to your family, friends, and acquaintances. Your connection with the community is also important.

In the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory, the third level of the essential human needs is called Love and Belonging. 

The theory says that after the primal psychological and safety needs of a person is met, the next need to be filled is the need to have an intimate relationship that involves feelings of belongingness. 

People that feel loved and accepted within their social groups are said to be more inclined to have a healthy and happy life.

How to Keep Your Social Life Healthy

Here are some of the ways on how to keep your social life healthy:

1. Become self-sufficient. Learn to be happy on your own. If your happiness depends on other people, then you are not building up your self-esteem. 

A socially healthy person is able to live on his own. His emotions are strong and secure. 

He knows he is fine all by himself so he doesn’t act like a loser. Insecurity and jealousy are not good in sustaining a strong relationship.

When you are self-sufficient, you are not always worried about your partner leaving you. Why? Because you can make it on your own. 

It’s not to say that you don’t love deeply or sincerely. You love, but you love yourself first before loving others.

The irony in this is that the strongest relationships involve two people who are both self-sufficient, which brings us to the next tip.

2. Interdependence, not independence or dependence. Self-sufficiency is only a prerequisite for a healthy relationship, while dependence is a sure way to ruin it. 

If one person is independent and the other is dependent, the self-sufficient person can only do so much to support the needy partner. 

Sooner or later the independent person will grow tired and weary of the partner’s neediness and dependency and he or she will get burned out.

When both people are dependent, there will be continuous fights about trivial things. 

A reason of “I simply forgot” will not be acceptable when one forgets to gift the other during their anniversary. 

Insecurity from both partners is so extreme that they even get jealous from each other’s friends.

The perfect combination is of two independent people. They are not dependent, but interdependent of one another. 

They don’t need each other to be happy because they can be happy on their own. Yet they love each other so much that they work together to sustain and strengthen the relationship. 

They are compassionate, caring, and respectful of one another.

3. Help others. One of the signs of having a healthy social life is volunteering for a cause in one’s own community. 

There is enormous encouraging power when you do something for someone else for free, especially when you know that the beneficiary really needs it.

4. Join a group that shares your interests. When you spend time with a group of people that has the same values as yours, it gives you a feeling of belongingness.

5. Never hesitate to ask for help. Asking for favors, and also doing some, is a great way to build a relationship. 

Start small and go from there as the relationship grows.