How to Handle Difficult People

by Raymund Tamayo

Note: This October, I will start a series of posts on How to Handle Difficult People. These next few articles will guide you on how to interact with difficult people without having to severe your relationships with them.

Four Types of Difficult People

In handling a difficult person, the first thing to do is to identify the type of difficult person you are trying to deal with. There are many different kinds of difficult people, but most of them are a combination of these following personalities.

Type 1: Bossy (The Manipulator)

As the name suggests, this type of difficult person is officious and a dictator. She always wants what she wants, right here and right now. She feels helpless and depressed when things don’t go her way or when circumstances are out of her control. You feel like a puppet whenever you are with her.

Her negative qualities are:

• domineering 
• egotistic 
• arrogant 
• impatient 
• oppressive 

On the other hand, she also has positive qualities such as:

• confident 
• competent 
• revolutionary 

Type 2: Negative (The Pessimist)

She always thinks negative of everything and everybody. She is always distrustful of people and is often doubting their intentions. She thinks ill of others, assumes that others are always thinking negative as well, and expects the worst in all situations. 

Most of the time, she worries and couldn’t see the opportunities in inconveniences. She is very hard to please, complaining is her habit, and dispiriting things spew out of her mouth all the time. You feel like you are carrying a heavy weight on your shoulders whenever you are around her.

The negative qualities typical of her are:

• cynical 
• distrustful 
• hopeless 
• discouraging 
• unmotivated 

But she might have some positive qualities like:

• cautious 
• observant 
• realistic

Type 3: Needy (The Leech)

She always needs validation from others and has very low self-esteem. She thinks that other people are responsible for her happiness that’s why she is miserable when alone. She doesn’t know how to do anything by herself because she wants other people to do everything for her.

And to top it all off, she’s always fuming and irritated when she feels that she is not being noticed or not attended to. When with her, you feel like she is sucking the life out of you because of her numerous and constant demands.

Her negative qualities are:

• incompetent 
• insecure 
• sensitive 
• quick-tempered 
• irresponsible 

While her positive qualities can be:

• passionate 
• caring 
• thoughtful 

Type 4: Tactless (The Big Mouth)

She is super frank and candid that most often she does not think first before she speaks. She does not care about the feelings of others and just wants to blurt out the first thought or idea that comes into her mind. 

Highly opinionated and blunt, she thinks that she is always right, which is why it is impossible for her to accept correction. When with her, you are constantly aware that you will be embarrassed at any given time both by what she will say about you and what she will speak about other people as well.

Her negative qualities are:

• apathetic 
• clueless 
• sarcastic 
• narrow-minded 
• know-it-all 

While her positive qualities are:

• honest 
• transparent 
• concerned 

The next blog posts will give you essential tips on how to specifically and successfully deal with each of these types of difficult people. Stay tuned!