Some Thoughts On Becoming A Better Parent

by Raymund Tamayo

Denielle and I have two kids. Our eldest is 13-year-old girl Ryah, while our youngest is seven-year-old boy Rafa. I love them both so much, I thought I'd never love other people this much (except, of course, my wife).

Having children is an overwhelming feeling. It’s a mixture of emotions. 

On one side you are so happy seeing them and being with them. On the other side, you tend to worry about how you are going to provide for all of their needs. 

On another side you are thanking God for the blessings of becoming a parent. Yet on the other side you are asking for help raising these little ones the right way.

With that, here are some of my thoughts on becoming a better parent. Just a side note: All of them are still in progress in my life.

1. Put God on top of my family. As a father, I know I’m the spiritual leader and head of my household. I’ve accepted that responsibility. 

But I also acknowledge that I am still under my own master and leader, the Lord Jesus Christ. I always look to God for guidance and strength and patience on how to take care of my children.

2. Love my wife. The best thing all of us can do for our children is to love our spouse truthfully and unconditionally.

A strong and healthy marriage is the foundation on which children base their lives. A home becomes a safe place when parents model and encourage selfless love.

3. Show them I love their mom. This is different from #2 because the former was internal while this one is external in a way that I have to show my kids I love their mom. 

I must not contradict their mother in front of them. I must not fight with her in front of them. And most definitely I must not hurt her physically. 

I believe how I treat their mother will affect their self-esteem. It will also affect the way Rafa will treat women someday.

4. Teach them self-esteem. Self-esteem is very important to have as a person. It is vital I teach my children self-esteem to help them become better persons and citizens during their adult years. 

How do I do this? I can think of some ways like showing them (not only telling them) I love them and they are important to me. By spending time with them, by talking and listening to them, by praising them for the things they do and accomplish. 

I believe there are a lot more ways to discover how to do this.

5. Correct them and teach them discipline. This is one area of parenting that I am most careful of. 

I believe in the old proverb “Spare the rod, spoil the child,” but I don’t overdo it. 

I rarely spank my kids. I would rather be kind and patient and gentle with them. I would rather teach than scold, and train them to discipline by modeling. 

If all else fails, and if it’s absolutely necessary, the rod will come into play.

6. Encourage them to grow spiritually. I want to teach and show them the greatest things in this world are not things. Instead, they are invisible, life-giving, and eternal.

These are just some thoughts I have had these past few days. I expect many more will come, and I promise to chronicle more on this blog as they arrive.